


Vigil

by CatHeights



Category: Oz - Fandom
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-06-25
Updated: 2006-06-25
Packaged: 2017-10-11 11:04:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 838
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/111722
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CatHeights/pseuds/CatHeights
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A tag to the "don't let go" scene in the Season 4 episode Works of Mercy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Vigil

The hack barely gives Beecher a glance as he walks by. Apparently it's fine to be sitting on the floor, as long as you're not, God forbid, trying to comfort someone. Now that's the fucking end of the world.

Beecher glares at the retreating hack, before turning an anxious gaze toward the bottom bunk. For the moment, Chris is sleeping calmly. He wishes he could sleep. He wishes he could lie down next to Chris. Maybe then he could rest for a bit, maybe then Chris would stay asleep, but he doesn't dare risk it. He'd only be giving a hack an excuse to throw one of them in the hole.

God, he's tired.  He starts to nod off, eyes drooping, but when his chin hits his chest, he snaps his neck up so quickly it hurts. Falling asleep will only bring him dreams of his children crying out for him. He can't face his dreams again.

"They'll be all right. They have to be all right." Beecher whispers the words, hoping the repetition will make it true and make him believe. It doesn't seem to help. Helplessness isn't a new feeling for him, but this time it cuts so sharp he can barely breathe.

A sound drifts to his ears – a soft moan. Keller twists on the bunk, one hand pushing aside the sheets. Beecher gets to his feet, legs cramping slightly from having been in one place too long, and goes over to sit on the side of Keller's bunk.

"Chris," Beecher says softly, with a glance toward the door. A hack just went by, so they should be fine, but you never know.

He puts a hand on Keller's arm. "Chris," he says again.

Keller's body tenses and his eyes open. Beecher can feel him shuddering.

"Easy. It was just a nightmare."

"Toby."

"Yeah. Who else would it be?" Beecher gives a half-hearted smile, but Keller doesn't return it. Instead he sits up and rubs a hand over his face.

Beecher puts a hand on Keller's shoulder and then slides it over to the base of his neck, massaging the muscle there. "You okay?"

When Keller's gaze meets his, Beecher feels the itch of dread across his skin. Keller looks horrible, face almost gray and circles under his eyes. He's never seen Chris look like this, not even in the infirmary. This isn't the "I ain't going down" Keller he's used to seeing. This is a Keller he could lose.

Beecher's heart beats faster. They wouldn't have let Chris out of the infirmary if he weren't okay. It's just shadows from the shred of lighting that slips into the pod making Keller look worse. That's all. He can't take for it to be anything more.

Keller leans over and kisses him, and Beecher feels his panic begin to recede. Chris will be fine.

The kiss is gentle, and he understands the message in it:  _I need you_.  This is something he can do – be there for Chris. It's something he wants and needs to do.

After a moment, Keller breaks off the kiss and lets his head fall to Beecher's shoulder.

Beecher rubs Keller's back, and when he feels a yawn against his shoulder, he says, "You should lie down and get some sleep. You need it."

There's a smile on Keller's face when he raises his head. "Thanks, Toby."  His expression grows serious again, and he runs his thumb along Beecher's chin. "What 'bout you. You okay?"

Beecher just shrugs. "Lie down."

"You should get some sleep too," Keller says with a yawn as he lies back down.

"I will." Beecher can tell Keller doesn't believe him, but lucky for him Keller is too exhausted to call him on it.

Drifting off to sleep, Keller reaches out for Beecher's hand.

As he stares at the firm way their fingers are knotted together, Beecher feels a wave of emotion batter through him. It's almost too much to comprehend, and so damn strong it nearly chokes him. But this feeling can't be wrong because it's love. You can't love someone too much. No, you can't. You can't. It's love, and that should be enough. It's all he needs to understand.

Keller's grip slackens, but Beecher remains seated beside him, watching him sleep. For a few moments, his thoughts narrow to the sound of Keller's breathing, but then reality intrudes. He can't stay here. If a hack comes by, he'll pound on the door, and that will surely wake Chris. He carefully untangles his fingers and goes back to sit against the wall.

In the morning, he'll talk to Sister Pete and see if he can convince her to talk to Chris. Maybe he can at least manage to get her to meet with Keller. He holds back a sigh and rubs at his eyes.

As the hours of the night slowly slip by, Beecher remains seated against the wall, watching Keller and using the vigil as a way to keep from drowning in his own fears.


End file.
